Added: Sheree Carvajal - Date: 23.01.2022 04:44 - Views: 25483 - Clicks: 1328
Our attitude towards being single takes on many forms at various stages of our lives. There are phases where you just love it—the luxury of not having to answer to someone, the ease of argument-free nights out, and the freedom to spend an entire day or weekend on the couch, completely guilt-free. These phases usually happen when you are young or fresh out of a breakup. But then there are the stages where you hate being single. This is not a fun stage.
It is critical that you open your mind and be honest with yourself about this. What are you attaching to your single status? It is most likely either a meaning or a fear. You think it means you are unattractive, uninteresting, or unlovable. There is a reason it is bothering you, and that reason comes down to how you feel about yourself or your life.
Identify that reason. If you are still single next week… you see my point.
The fact that you are single right now predicts nothing about the future. It only describes the present. Once you know what it is, you can question it—ask if it is true.
However, how you feel about it provides all kinds of valuable insight. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever be in. It sets the stage for every other relationship in your life. Stop focusing on finding The One. More often than not, when we attempt to listen to that advice, we start going to the gym more, reading more, getting together with friends, or however we define self-care. But why are you really doing all that?
What do you want to happen? So in reality, you have just found a backdoor way to remain focused on finding your someone, not focusing on yourself. I mean you need to really focus on yourself with no hidden agenda that will result in finding your happily ever after with someone else. I mean finding your happily ever after with you.
First, revisit how you spend your time. What are the things you enjoy doing but never make time to do? Are there big challenges—like running a marathon, writing a book, getting a degree, making a career change—that have always been in the back of your mind? Do them. Get back in touch with yourself, who you are at your core and what you enjoy doing.
Do things for YOU. Next, go internal. Break all the attachments you have to being single, including the fear that doing all of the above is taking precious time away from dating.
Question your thoughts and assumptions until you can remove all the meaning and fear you have surrounding your relationship status. Find a way to know that you are enough. That is true self-love. Maybe that means therapy or maybe it means a lot of time spent just thinking. Maybe it means taking a break from dating and maybe you can do both at the same time. Do whatever works for you. Once you are ready to re-enter the dating world, look at your attitude towards dating in general. That is A LOT of pressure to put on any given day and any given date. It causes a rollercoaster of emotions that only feeds into the panic and fear you are trying to remove.
Think of dating as expanding your network. You are simply meeting someone new. Yes, maybe they will end up being The One. But they also Tired of the single lifee end up being a great business contact or know someone who could help you get your dream job or be your connection to an incredible new group of friends. There is a lot any given person has to offer. Stop approaching the situation like there is one thing and one thing only that matters to you. Instead, get curious about who they are and open your mind to all the ways your lives could intersect.
Practice actually wanting to know the person sitting across from you and share who you are without it being filtered by hidden hopes they will like you or your aspirations for life will perfectly align.
Remember, you are enough. This date is simply an opportunity to share and connect with another person, and that is always time well spent. You may unsubscribe at any time. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about. By Kacie Main Updated August 24, Eye for Ebony. Get the best of Thought Catalog in your inbox. Dating Single Life. More From Thought Catalog. Be Patient With Your Progress. Get our newsletter every Friday!
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